Elder Care in Berwyn, IL: Should You Rely on an Elder Care Manager to Help Convince a Parent it’s Time to Move?

You’re convinced that it’s time for your mother to move out of her house and into a smaller apartment, in with you, or even into an assisted living facility. You’ve been worried about her for some time and you’ve even talked to her about these elder care needs that she has.

To this point in time, she has continued to say the same things, that she doesn’t need help, that she’s happy and fine where she is, and she doesn’t want to move. She doesn’t get angry when you bring it up, but now she begins to just smile and walk away. You’re frustrated because you don’t think that she realizes her situation.

Many people try to avoid talking about the unpleasant things in life, especially when it pertains to things that they can no longer do on their own. Your mother is no different. She may know that her legs are weaker, that she has trouble maintaining her balance sometimes, but to admit that you can’t take care of yourself any longer is not easy. It can signal a loss of independence and that is a frightening concept for her.

So you came across the notion of an elder care manager. This is a professional individual whose specialty is helping seniors and their families determine what arrangements can be made, or are ideal for their situation. These care managers can also help to determine whether the senior is physically and mentally capable of safely living at home, whether on their own or with the assistance of home care for the elderly.

Hiring an elder care manager is one step toward ensuring that your mother is safe at home, or helping to convince her that it’s time to consider other options. She might not agree with what the care manager has to say, and you may end up in the same situation that you were on your own. That’s because you need to realize that your elderly mother, even though you know she needs help, is still entitled to make her own care decisions. You can’t force this on her unless you want to court to declare her unfit to make decisions for herself, which is not recommended and is a very long process that can cause irreparable harm to the relationship.

If you believe that your mother requires elder care, or she should move to a safer home, learn about the benefits of such a move and focus on those. In time, she will understand that you’re right and that you only want the best for her.