It wouldn’t be truthful to say that every caregiver is happy with their role all the time. There are definitely daily struggles to contend with, stress to deal with, and a pervasive lack of time and energy. Caregiving is multi-faceted, with many facets showing at one time. It can be both fulfilling and exhausting at the same time.
It’s only fair to talk about the ups and downs, the ins and outs, and the pluses and minuses of caregiving in one article. Here are some of the woes the family caregivers have voiced:
- They essentially have no life of their own and they are tired of it.
- They can’t see a light at the end of the caregiving tunnel.
- They don’t know how much longer they can keep going.
- Their aging parent thinks they’re not good enough as a caregiver.
- They can’t do something as simple as taking a bath without getting called to come do something.
- They feel like they’ve lost their identity; don’t know who they are anymore.
- Their parent still bosses them around; tries to tell them what to do, what to eat etc.
Your own individual circumstances are different than someone else’s, but you’d be surprised at how many other caregivers can relate to you! Don’t feel guilty if you don’t love being a caregiver all the time. There will always be moments where you feel you can’t go on. There will be other moments when you are convinced you’re doing the right thing and everything will turn out okay.
Here are some of the joys voiced by caregivers:
- I’m so glad I could do this for my Dad after all he did for me.
- Despite the hard work I feel very much fulfilled in caregiving for my Mom.
- I had always planned on helping my parents in their elderly years. This part of life has come full circle.
- I feel I am handling this well and am able to balance my family and my life and caregiving in a healthy way.
- I am grateful I can spend these months with my loved one and form memories which are very meaningful.
If you feel like the woes outweigh the joys and the stress is starting to get to you, do something right away to relieve this burden. If there are other family members available, explain you need a break and see what they can do to help. Consider in-home elder care to give you a much-needed respite.
Relieving stress by exercising, eating healthy, participating in social activities and meditating can also help you feel like a new person and give you the boost of energy you need to keep going.
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